Feeling virtuous is considerably easier than becoming virtuous. One can be accomplished with a sympathetic slogan; the other generally involves repentance, sacrifice, and admitting we have something to change. In this article, originally published in Crisis Magazine, Sheryl Collmer draws on a memorable figure from her childhood parish to examine the difference between sentimentality and Christian charity. Her concern is what happens when the desire to make everyone feel comfortable displaces the harder work of helping people grow in holiness.

Turning to the Synod on Synodality, Collmer questions whether the language of welcome can obscure the need for conversion—and whether apparent kindness serves people well when it avoids difficult moral truths. With pointed humor, she challenges Catholics to consider the substance beneath reassuring words and appealing gestures. Genuine compassion takes people’s struggles seriously enough to offer the remedies of faith. That requires patience, courage, and a willingness to love beyond the point where everyone feels pleasantly affirmed.